On Faith…Sort Of

I have written on the topics of religion and faith to some extent in the past, or more accurately I have written about my own personal experience concerning religion and faith which I still struggle with. Accordingly, I will try not to be too long and bore everyone, but something has been in my head for some time and writers write things out when confuse so here goes.

For as long as I can remember, I have considered myself a Christian. However, others, including those within my own church, would not because of my personal ideologies and beliefs and at times I agree with their assessment. I do not follow a lot of the teachings and tenants of the church and question the systems and edicts touted by those in authority. It has always been in my nature to do so. After all, if I question my teachers on their lessons and they are merely telling me where countries are shouldn’t I also question those who are claiming to speak for God and are instructing me in being a moral person? Well apparently they don’t seem to like that.

Now for all the disagreements I may have with organized religion and ideologies, I still believe in a greater power whom I choose to call God. I don’t know this being’s gender, purpose, will, intent, or decisions, but I choose to believe and feel that there is something beyond the human experience. Still, i recognize that my ignorance of this divinity does not allow me to create whatever rules I want to fill the vacuum and that I should live my life according to basic tenets, like try to do no harm and to do good for others. As well, I recognize that not everyone holds a belief in a deity and that they are not required to. Obviously, this thought process tends to be at odds with most monotheistic religions. Hence my ongoing issues with my particular church.

While I may disagree with some of the tenets of my religion, there is one aspect of it that both interests and terrifies me; the unwavering faith that the devout seem to have. For them, the bible is true and explains everything you need to know about God’s divine plan. There are no errors or misunderstandings as it is the inspired word of God. If somehow someone was able to prove without a shadow of a doubt that God did not exist, they would not waver in their faith. I cannot comprehend how one achieves such a level of belief. I have faith in a higher power, in people, and in the human experience but it changes and adjusts to new information and stimuli. I don’t know whether or not that makes my faith legitimate or illegitimate, but it is the only way I know how to operate.

Religion and faith attempts to answer life’s questions, but I don’t know if I want the answers or if they could even be completely found. How can you know that your answer is correct when there are literally thousands of other answers that also claim legitimacy? More so, why is your answer more valid than someone else’s when their holy book is telling them they are right just like yours? I wish there was some short or quick solution to this constant questioning I have, but alas I have not found it.

I know what I believe and I know what kind of person I want to be and what kind of world I want to help make. I want to be a good person who tries not to harm others and helps create good in various forms. Hopefully this will be enough for now and help me be a better person as I continue to explore and seek answers.

Last note I swear, there is a great ongoing series of videos found here that explores different religions and beliefs without prejudice or agenda.

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