Even With the Bullshit, I am Blessed

I was kind of an asshole in high school. I was the smart ass that used his intellect and sarcasm to build a barrier around me both emotionally and physically in many ways. I was unhappy, and still am to an extent, with the way I looked. That insecurity fueled my sarcasm and ineptitude with social environments and graces. Honestly, i just saw school as a stepping stone to get the hell away from my hometown. Not that my hometown or the people were so bad, I just never quite felt like I fit in. Looking back, I can say with certainty that the alienation I felt was partly my doing, but there is still definitely a mismatch with who I am and what is expected back home. What I find amazing about my time in school is that even with that slight chip on my should I still managed to find a few close individuals I could call friends who I still speak to and try to see on occasion, an act that our divergent paths in life makes rather difficult at times. Considering how I acted and my slightly abrasive personality, I consider myself lucky to have found those bonds in high school.

Perhaps a bit more surprising, to me at least, is how those friendships continued to be forged with new individuals in college throughout undergrad and grad school. With all the uncertainty and lack of direction I am currently undergoing, it is comforting to know that somehow I managed to create a few connections and friendships that I know will be long lasting. A few of those I am lucky enough to call friend have in recent days expressed their emotions and thoughts concerning my inevitable departure. When someone who is not tied to you by blood has a tangible reaction to you leaving, I can’t be anything else but humbled and blessed that I am fortunate enough to have such good friends. I only pray and hope that I can be worthy of such expression. So to all my friends, wherever you may be, I am grateful to have known all of you and hope that we never truly part. Also, remember I am one phone call away ready with a shovel, no questions asked.


The Sentry Gathers… 

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